Young Jeremy asks Master Poocher: "What is Zen?" Master Poocher answers, in his way: "When I am hungry, I eat. When I am tired, I sleep. When I feel frisky, I frolic."
Young Jeremy says to Master Poocher: "I fared poorly on the test. Fie upon me! I have failed!" Master Poocher replies: "Are you still taking the test?" "No," says our Young Jeremy. "But you are," says Master Poocher, "And that is how you are failing."
The dishes are left for Young Jeremy to wash. "Woe is me!" says Young Jeremy. "I have so much to do and these many dishes to wash." Master Poocher advises: "Do not wash the dishes for any end. Wash the dishes only to wash the dishes."
Master Poocher teaches: "Choose not the largest bone nor the smallest bone. The Zen Dog chooses the middle bone."
Dogen, teacher of Master Poocher, once said to Poocher: "You have trained long and longer, Young Poocher. Tell me, what is Buddha nature?" Poocher bit Dogen soundly upon the rear. "Yes," said Dogen. "That indeed is Buddha nature."
Young Jeremy cried unto Master Poocher: "All have emotion!" Master Poocher responds: "What all? What emotion?"
Poocher has taught: "When there is no Jeremy and no Not-Jeremy, then you will have truly found Jeremy."
Poocher has preached: "We spend every day clothing a Self that does not exist in achievements and ambitions and regrets. We end up only with fiction. The true self can wear nothing."
"Just as I lap effortlessly from this bowl of water," teaches Master Poocher, "So must you effortlessly lap from the bowl of life."